The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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