i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
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Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
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I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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