This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
