You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dick very happy bro
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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