why didn't you poke me back
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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