It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
