No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
