But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
