it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
