Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Please don't give away my fajitas
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
