the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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