I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
