The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
