Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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