just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
