I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
