i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
