This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
