I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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