Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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