Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
