Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
