WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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