I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
