Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize