i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
