You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
