You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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