Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
