Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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