super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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