you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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