YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
