hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
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he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
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Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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