when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
