why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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