Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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