you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
