Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize