I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
