Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize