Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
