The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize