Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
