we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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