How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
