I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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