either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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