I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize