Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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