I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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