Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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