For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
