if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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