That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize