hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize