You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
