maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and she was petting her beer can
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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