I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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