I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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