I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
