The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
